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Orgo-Life the new way to the future Advertising by Adpathway3 min readNew DelhiJun 21, 2026 01:00 AM IST
During an interaction with Sadhguru, actor Alia Bhatt candidly reflected on how early the fear of failure can show up in children. Speaking at a public interaction hosted by Filmy Hunk, she shared, “I feel we fear failure. It is… even now, as my… you know, as my daughter’s growing up, she’s always trying to win. ‘I came first. Even if somebody else came first, she says, ‘No… no, she cheated. I tell her, ‘No, she came first.’”
Her observation resonates with many parents, but when does this mindset begin, and should it be a concern? Dr Munia Bhattacharya, Sr. Consultant- Clinical Psychology, Marengo Asia Hospitals, Gurugram, explains that the roots of competition emerge surprisingly early. “The competitive mindset can begin as early as 4 to 6 years, when children start understanding the idea of winning and losing,” she says.
By early school years, comparisons intensify. “Between ages 5 to 7, children begin experiencing real disappointment—losing a game or not performing well—and that’s when fear of failure can take shape.”
She adds that classrooms, sports, and even subtle social comparisons play a role. “When children feel constantly evaluated, they may start linking their self-worth to outcomes.”
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
Competition in kids
Alia Bhatt’s anecdote about her child blaming others after losing is more common than it seems. Dr Bhattacharya reassures, “Blaming others or saying ‘they cheated’ can be a self-protective response. At this stage, children are still learning fairness, rules, and accountability.”
However, patterns matter. “Occasional rationalising is normal, but if it becomes frequent and is paired with intense distress or inability to accept loss, it may indicate deeper issues like maladaptive perfectionism.”
Striking balance
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Dr Bhattacharya emphasises, “Parents should focus on effort rather than outcome. Praising the process helps children feel valued beyond just winning.”
She also highlights the importance of modelling behaviour. “When children see adults acknowledge mistakes and learn from them, they understand that failure is safe and part of growth. Children need to feel that love and acceptance are not tied to performance.”
Building resilience at home
Healthy attitudes toward failure are often shaped within the family environment. “Children learn more from what they observe than what they are told,” says Dr Bhattacharya.
She suggests simple, practical steps:
“Normalise failure as part of learning—mistakes are data, not defeat.”
“Encourage problem-solving instead of immediately fixing things for them.”
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“Celebrate small efforts and progress, not just big wins.” Importantly, she adds that giving children autonomy and allowing them to face manageable challenges helps build long-term resilience.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
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